I Booked A Flight Ticket to Italy

Sicily, Italy (August 2018)

***This post was written on my previously hosted blog which is no longer existing that is why I am reposting this from 2 years ago. I just thought that my posts on my former blog deserve to be published again as I reflect on my life in London 2 years ago. These were my thoughts and feelings on that chapter of my life and I wanted to look back on them with a smile on my face. A lot has happened in my life in a span of 2 years: resigning from my work in London and moving back to the Philippines for good, moving to a new house, permanently ending the relationship with my first boyfriend, landing a new job in a big hospital in Manila, etc. If I could tell one thing to myself 2 years ago, I would say, “You are doing great in your life and you will get over that heartbreak and new beginnings will give you so much hope on what you truly deserve in life.”

So without further ado, here is my blog post entitled, “I Booked A Flight Ticket to Italy” orginally posted on August 4, 2018 at 10:11 PM, UK time.

I will write a separate throwback post on my travel to Italy 2 years ago in the coming weeks.

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“I Booked a Flight Ticket To Italy”

Just a quick blog post… I just wanna share something.

Earlier, I booked a flight to Sicily, Italy on the last of week of August. My relatives in Italy have been inviting me to visit them since I’m already living and working here in Europe.

Booking a flight in Italy has been so liberating for a lot of reasons. I have a constant battle with myself on whether to go there or not. I haven’t really travelled much since I arrived here in London. The only country that I’ve ever been to since I arrived in 2016 was in Paris, France which I travelled last year on my birthday. There’s a lot of things that’s holding me back. I was scared of the expenses, travelling alone, seeing my relatives on my father side for the first time, meeting them, there’s just a lot of fears. It is summer season in Europe, and with that, the price of flights tickets are expected to be high. Another thing that’s holding me back was the expensive flight tickets. However, I won’t be able to go anywhere if I will keep thinking about the expenses and burning my savings. That’s why I still booked the flight even if the price is higher that usual. I just let go. Sometimes, the only thing that is necessary to do is to let go of all the worries. And after booking the flight, I felt so liberated. It is fearful to travel alone but at the same time, I felt so free knowing that I have a lot of things to learn with this experience. I felt like I’ve let go of the baggage that I’ve been carrying. It is true, fears and worries are crippling. I won’t be able to go anywhere if I have a lot of fears.

Yesterday, I’ve been wanting to relax and thinking of having a massage or a hair treatment. I always have a hair cut, hair treatment, manicure or pedicure in the Philippines when I’m feeling stressed. So yesterday, I went to Kingston Town Centre to have a hair treatment. I first went to Rush salon but their staff isn’t so accommodating and there’s no available time for me to have the treatment yesterday. Afterwards, I went to Toni & Guy Salon, but when the receptionist asked what I want to do with my hair, he just gave the price of the services and I feel that that’s not the salon that I was looking for. I was already feeling hopeless at that time, then I kept on walking in the market, when I saw another salon, I went inside and inquired and asked the price of Glossing. Then a man assisted me, answered all my questions, tried to explain what my hair needs, asked me to sit on the chair in front of the mirror and looked for the advice of the stylist on what she thinks my hair needs. And because of the kindness and rapport of the receptionist (Victor), even though the price is a bit expensive, I said yes, I wanna have the treatment now. Regarding the price, what can I do, I live in London, the prices of services here are expected to be really high.  Actually, the main reason why I want to have the hair treatment is because I want a scalp massage. I just want to be relaxed. Part of the services of Headquarters Hair Salon is scalp massage and neck massage. It was so relaxing. The staff are very kind and professional. The money spent is worth it.

These are the moments I learned a lot about surrendering, letting go, being present and enjoying the moment and not being too serious about the future.

Changes…

The beautiful view outside my former room in London

This post was written on my previously hosted blog which is no longer existing that is why I am reposting this from 2 years ago. I just thought that my posts on my former blog deserve to be published again as I reflect on my life in London 2 years ago. These were my thoughts and feelings on that chapter of my life and I wanted to look back on them with a smile on my face. A lot has happened in my life in a span of 2 years, resigning from my work in London and moving back to the Philippines for good, moving to a new house, permanently ending the relationship with my first boyfriend, landing a new job in a big hospital in Manila, etc. If I could tell one thing to myself 2 years ago, I would say, “You are doing great in your life and you will get over that heartbreak and new beginnings will give you so much hope on what you truly deserve in life.”

So without further ado, here is my blog post entitled, “Changes…” orginally posted on November 12, 2018 at 7:32 PM, UK time.

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Changes…

Yesterday, I’ve finally decided to move out of the accommodation after 2 years of living here. Before, I have been firm with my decision of staying in this place and feeling contented with what I have. But things changed, my feeling had changed and I realised my life needs a change.

I will be moving out with my very close friend, Fe. We were on the same cohort (batch) deployed in London on October 2016. She’s really my best friend here in London and with the idea of moving in to a house, it would be her whom I would want to be with.

Before, the thought of moving in to a new house cringes me. Now I am excited! Eventhough it will still be on May 2019, in London, time goes by very fast because of the busyness of work and a lot activities that you can do.

For the last two years, I had shut down myself from the world. I travelled less, I did not go out more often with my friends as I was licking my broken heart on my own. Because that’s how I wanted it to be, I was taking it all in. I called my parents less often because I know that if they will ask how I’m feeling, emotionally, I wasn’t okay. But I have to say that I am alright for them not to worry about me.

Which is a huge mistake on my part. Everytime I call my parents in the Philippines and speak to my mother ’cause she’s the more talkative one, I always feel happy after the phone call.

Oh, this first heartbreak!

But no, I’m not moving out of the accommodation because I’m still heartbroken. I am moving out because I am now full to give my time, care, concern and love to my friends. ‘Cause the truth is, they are my family here.

Sometimes, you find happiness in your everyday when you give a part of yourself to people, may it be your time or effort to be there when they need you the most.

If you also noticed, I have not shared a lot about my feelings during the first days, weeks and months after the breakup. I shoved my thoughts away. I wasn’t ready to share at that time. And it’s not a healthy thing to do. That’s why after 7 months, it is only now that I am expressing how I really feel.

And this signals for a new beginning.

I am excited for a lot of things that I am planning to do in the next couple of months.

Thank you, Lord, for being my rock.

Flower outside our flat

Reposting my old article about the movie, ‘Finding Dory’

Hi… It’s been more than a year since my last post in this blog. It wasn’t really that I stopped blogging since last year. What happened is that, I purchased a hosting service in siteground for 1 year and when it’s about to expire on March of this year, I decided not to renew my subscription anymore for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it is an expense to pay a hosting service every year when you don’t really need a hosting service. For someone like me who has a full time job and only does blogging as a hobby and an outlet of my thoughts, I learned that it is not advisable to to buy hosting service and a free domain is perfectly alright.

Secondly, I am receiving a lot of spam comments everyday when I had my blog hosted and I am not happy about that. Receiving spam comments rarely happen in my free wordpress blog.

Thirdly, the most important reason is that I do not want to think of an end goal of earning money as the purpose for blogging. I want to go back to the very reason why I created this blog 9 years ago, I was a fresh graduate then and so naive about the real world. I wanted to express my thoughts into words, to inspire myself and others who will stumble in my blog and to share my experiences and learnings about my life.

All the posts I’ve written when I had my blog hosted were gone when I did not renew the hosting from siteground. I can actually retain the posts however, I am not a techy person, I tried but it is too complicated for me. I don’t want to be stressed out anymore that’s why I just let go. Anyway, I have a copy of the articles because everytime I post in my blog, a copy is sent to my e-mail. Hence, I don’t have blog posts for more than a year because they were gone when I did not renew the hosting.

Life update…

There’s a big change that is gonna happen in my life and I will be sharing it with you, my readers, soon. For the meantime, I want to post the article that I’ve written on June 2016 about the movie, Finding Dory. I made this article for one website but upon searching online, I couldn’t find the website anymore.

I’m very happy with how this article had turned out to be. I have not written in the past few months and to be honest, I really miss blogging. The authentic and vulnerable posts about pursuing my dreams, the experiences and lessons in my life that I am sharing here are the things that I look forward to doing again soon.

I realised that no matter where life takes us, we should never lose sight of our real self and who we really are as a person, our inner dreams when we were young. I will be sharing more about this in the future blogs.

For now, here is my realisation about watching the movie, ‘Finding Dory’ back in 2016.

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Finding Dory is the funniest ocean adventure ever

 

 

Pixar Animation Studios released their new animated movie that upholds to the values that they have always instill in every movie they create. The latest is Finding Dory released in the Philippines on June 16, which is a sequel from the animated movie 13 years ago, Finding Nemo. I watched the movie yesterday with my very good friend who’s also a Disney Pixar fan, Maj. I have come to love all the Pixar movies ever since watching Inside Out and it hit me so hard. It is one of the best movies I have watched in my life. It’s perfect. Because of that, I got interested with all the movies released before and still to be released in the future by Pixar Animation Studios. If Inside Out was a tear-jerker, Finding Dory is a feel-good movie, you will have a great laugh with your company and with other people in the cinema, but the values taught are still there. I can categorize it as more of a comedy with deep sense and meaning.

Pixar always starts every movie with the essence of family love, there is a mother and a father together with their child. It was shown early in the movie that Dory has a condition that made her forget short term memories. And her parents, with patience and love for Dory, has taught her to stand on her own if ever the time comes that she will get lost or be left on her own. I got emotional at the near end when after all the years when Dory got lost, her parents didn’t give up the idea that one day, Dory will be able to find her way home  which was the result of their effort of teaching her when she was still young.

I love Dory and all other characters. Here are the characters to watch out for aside from Nemo and his father Marlin. There’s the octopus named Hank, find out his role and the life that was added in the story because of him, the whale shark named Destiny, she’s so funny. In this movie, the members of the marine diversity are the lead characters, and the humans are somehow the antagonists as they invade the natural habitat of these marine creatures. I have realized in this movie that the fishes and other marine creatures have their own lives too. They have their own family, home, friends and the presence and need of other creatures to be able to live. It has exactly been the same for all of us humans.

One of my favorite scenes is the conversation between Dory and his octopus friend, Hank. It goes something like this, “I don’t like planning. It was not in my plan to get lost, and it was not in my plan to meet you. But we met, and I think it was not a coincidence. It happens for a reason.” That is so true because no matter how great we plan our lives are, sometimes, life doesn’t go the way we plan it to be. I realized to just be spontaneous, act and do what has to be done at the moment. To be in the moment.

The funny thing after watching the movie is that, of course, my friend and I had great smiles on our faces, and we started talking about other Pixar films and its co-founder Steve Jobs. We admire him a lot, because he did share the wonderful lessons he had learned in life from his younger days. We were still sitting in the movie house and didn’t realize that we were the only two left and the cinema personnel were already looking at us, still figuring out why we haven’t stood up from our seats. We got caught up with our conversation.

It is a feel good movie and my friend and I really recommend it for everyone to watch.

Sage & Thyme: Listening and Responding to People Who are Worried

Have you ever encountered seeing or talking to a person who is worried? Surely, we are familiar with the phrase, “Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be fine.” But is this really the appropriate thing to say? I want to share what I learned in Sage & Thyme Foundation Level Workshop: Listening and responding to people who are worried and distressed.

I voluntarily attended this workshop because I can see the strong need for me, as a health care professional to develop my communication skills as I am dealing with distressed patients and family members all the time. As a nurse working in a respiratory ward for more than a year, I have dealt with this situation multiple times and it’s hard to think of the right thing to say to address the concerns. With our busy day in the ward, giving medications, positioning our patients, doing the nursing care, etc., how can we actually provide therapeutic communications to our patients?

There is a flyer I saw in our ward’s staff room regarding this workshop. I told myself, “I want to attend.” I approached one of the Palliative Care Nurses visiting our ward, told her I am interested in attending the workshop however I cannot find the email address of the secretary to book my place. She then took my NHS email address and said she will leave the note on the secretary’s desk. And after 2 hours, I received an email from Paula and informed me that there is 1 slot left for the semuinar. Hmm.. I told myself this must have been for me. So I replied that I would be pleased to attend the seminar.

The entire seminar was facilitated by Sally Parr, a consultant for Cancer Support. She was very good in explaining why communication skills matter because it influences patient’s emotional health, symptom resolution function and physiological measures and decreased reported pain and drug usage.

So why Sage and Thyme? I was also curious. In the seminar I found out that Sage and Thyme is an acronym for the model which stands for…

S- Setting : If you notice concern- create some privacy- sit down

A- Ask : “Can I ask what you are concerned about?”

G- Gather: Gather all concerns – not just the first few

E- Empathy: Respond sensitively- “You have a lot on your mind”

&

T- Talk: “Who do you have to talk to or to support you?”

H- Help: “How do they help?”

Y- You: “What do YOU think would help?”

M- Me: “Is there something you would like ME to do?”

E- End: Summarise and close – “Can we leave it there?”

According to Thora, a Palliative Care Nurse, who facilitates the discussion in our group, this model is evidence based and it has been proven effective with clinical research. Depending on the situation, it doesn’t mean that we have to use the whole model all the time. She said we may skip some, but the core thing is to empower the person who is distressed by allowing him to decide what he thinks should be the best decision. We should always seek the patient’s own solutions. This means that we empower and equip individual to recognise and manage their psychological distress. It is more about You (pertaining to the other person) and not Me (meaning myself). She also said that somehow, this lifts the burden in us, health care professionals, that we cannot always and all the time solve our patient’s problems, pain and struggles. We are not a superhero to solve these things and we can only do so much. One more thing that I really like about this model is the fact that whenever we are talking to a distressed individual, it is not always about giving advice. Sometimes, what they need is someone who empathises with them, understands them and listens to them without any judgement. The most important thing is holding back with advice and only make supportive comments. Listening to them means not having to fix or give advice to the other person because this is disempowering.

Saying “Don’t worry. Everything will be alright” is not therapeutic because the truth is, the other person is worried, saying this means you are shutting down the individual.

It happens to me, when I was thinking about my future plans, and that person I talked to gave an advice and negative comments on the situations, and I realized it’s not helping because me and that person have different views and opinions about what really matters in life. I was thinking, I just want to express my thoughts about the situation, I do not need an advice I just want someone to listen. So, I just shrug the negative comments off and ended our conversation.

In my everyday work in the ward, I cannot always run the whole model if a relative or patient has to speak to me because the ward that I permanently work is really busy, but what I will do is to apply the core of the model.

I realized this is not only applicable to my work as a health care professional in the hospital but this is extremely helpful as well when talking to a friend, a colleague, a family member who has a problem or to myself.

I believe in this model that’s why I am sharing it in my blog. To know more about Sage and Thyme, you may visit http://www.sageandthymetraining.org.uk

Watching “Zippos Circus”

 

After coming back from a vacation in the Philippines, I have told myself to be dedicated again to blogging because as an introvert, expressing myself through writing gives me so much joy. There are 3 things I bought in the store today to jumpstart blogging and they are: AA battery, extension cord, and light bulb. Yes, these are the 3 stuff that completed this going-back-to-blogging plan. I needed a AA battery to be used for my wireless mouse so that I can navigate the pointer easily. The light bulb is for the lamp that I requested from our exchange gift last Christmas. I needed a bedside lamp because if I am only using the ceiling light from my room, what happens is that whenever I study or write, I would always get sleepy because it is so dim. With the bedside lamp, it creates additional brightness making the environment conducive to writing. The extension cord is to be used to plug my bedside lamp. So, that’s it. Because of these 3 things, I am now back to blogging.

This is a very late post as this happened in June 2017. My first-time experience watching a circus has always been a topic I’d really want to share here on my blog.

When I was young, I used to watched cartoons on TV every morning on ABS-CBN channel 2. It was the time when I was still young and only need to attend the school in the afternoon so I usually watched TV in the morning. I stayed in our home in the province with my mother (my father was working abroad) and 2 younger brothers while 3 of my older siblings went to school. I remember watching the cartoons “The Dog of Flanders” and “Remi”. I can’t remember which one was it but one or few episodes was about a circus. That image still I can remember. From then on, I knew I wanted to see a real circus. So when I saw a flyer about Zippos Circus coming to Kingston Upon Thames for series of shows,  I asked my friend if she wanted to see the circus with me. She didn’t think twice and happily came with me.

When we arrived, we saw a big tent that was set up in the Fairfield Recreational Park, my favourite part of town. There were a lot of trucks because that’s what the Zippos Circus do, they travel to different towns across the UK to perform. They stay in a specific place for a week and after the show, they move to another town. I thought this circus is exactly what I watched in the cartoons when I was young.

Happy Vibe!

When we arrived, the circus was already starting. And the moment we stepped inside the tent, I’ve already felt the happy vibe and the feeling of being child and young at heart. Well, I’m still young but what I am saying is the feeling of being a 5-year-old watching and being amazed at acrobats, stunts, etc.

We saw a popcorn and cotton candy stand. My friend and I looked at each other and laughed. We knew right away that we wanted to buy these kiddie snacks. So we bought 1 popcorn and  1 cotton candy and we shared. When we were taking pictures of our cotton candy, the circus host popped in to join. Haha. He also performed with birds doing tricks like basketball. Looking at him, it’s evident that he had been in a circus for most of his life.

Then we sat on our allotted seat, we were escorted inside by the member of the security. The show was very organized from the time we bought our ticket until the end of the show and when going out of the venue. A circus is indeed a happy place. I was there at the venue with a big smile on my face, being entertained and feeling the joy of a child. As what the circus host said after the show, “You are never too old to enjoy a circus.”

This is one of the activities here in the UK that gave real joy in my life and a big smile on my face, a must watch show and a must have experience.

 

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A Conversation With An Uber Driver

http://www.google.com

I arrived back on UK on February 16 from a 1 month holiday in the Philippines. This vacation was very productive. I was able to spend most of the time with my family, my father had an elective surgery and stayed with him during the confinement, met my high school friend and went for a trip to Iloilo with Kaye, my friend from UST Graduate School. It was a total of 16-hour flight duration with Cathay Pacific from Manila to Hong Kong followed by a connecting flight from Hong Kong to London. It was very smooth from take off to landing and as much as I can remember, there was no turbulence throughout the whole flight. I arrived in London Heathrow airport at around 15.00 of February 16 and waited for more than an hour in the immigration because of the long queue. After getting my luggage, I booked for an Uber to take me home to my flat in Kingston.

I had a very interesting conversation with the Uber driver during the whole trip. His name is Gershom from the country, Uganda. I learned from him that Uganda was a former British colony. He came in the country 16 years ago to work to support his family in Uganda. He is already on his 50s. He shared with me the hardships that he had to face and endure when he first set foot in the UK. He said there is no reason for him to bring his children to UK because he doesn’t want them to experience the hardships that he had gone through in the past. He was just working and working and couldn’t go home to Uganda because of the immigration policy to remain in the country so that he can continue to provide the needs of his family. By the grace of God, his two daughters had already finished college and are now working. He is planning to go back to Uganda this year to be with his family and settle in his home country for good. He said that everything is not about the money. His advice to me is not to lose my culture with the culture in the country where I am right now. He said that if you lose your culture, you are dead. You don’t have soul anymore. It was like, he is pertaining about the good values that is innate with us. Sometimes, what happens is that when we start to earn more, even if we are in denial, we also change and we may think highly of ourselves. This is a reminder to stay humble.

He also gave me wonderful advice about relationships. He said that being in a relationship will never become easy. Definitely, there will be trying times, multiple throughout our whole lifetime. If you are able to surpass one trial, then you’ve succeeded, but expect that you will encounter few more challenges in the future. That is one of the realities of life. He also told me not to give up if I experience problems in the relationship. Being in a long distance relationship is already a challenge. He said that I should be willing to fight for it if I really love the person. He gave me tips on how to make the other person feel loved even though we are far from each other such as calling just to say good morning and good night and no need for a long conversation, just make the person feel that you think of him. At the end of the trip, I shook his hand and thanked him for all the life lessons that he had shared with me. It can be that life is telling me something because Gershom is the 4th uber driver that appeared and I do not know why the first three bookings were dropped.

I had been constantly praying to give me wisdom with every decision that I will be making. Oftentimes, I do not know what decision to make because of too much noise from my head, my heart and from the people around me. What I have been constantly praying and asking is to hear His voice for me to be directed in the right path.

Purposeful 2018

Hello 2018! New year is all about setting up new goals for ourselves, may it be financial, travel, relationship or family. But before I dive in to the new year, first I wanna look back on my 2017.

I am forever grateful for the opportunity to be a UKRN and work as a staff nurse in a hospital in London. Being independent and living in a different continent and country is unimaginable. Working in the UK is not just about travels and dream job. It sums up hardwork. If people only know what we have to endure at work. This does not reflect what people see in the posted pictures in Facebook and Instagram. So looking back…

What went well this year?

1. I passed the examination to be enlisted in the register of qualified nurses in the UK on July 2017. Technically, now I am a registered nurse in the UK.
2. I was able to adapt (and still learning)  in my new role as a nurse in the respiratory ward where I am permanent staff. I can honestly say that I do not fear or drag myself whenever I go to work unlike the feeling that I usually get for my shifts in the hospital in the Philippines. Which leads me to the next…
3. I am more confident of myself, of who I am as a person and what I can do and at work in terms of my nursing skills, etc. This is not being complacent, I know I still have a lot of things to learn but in terms of my self worth, I am now certain that I am enough. Less are the times that I doubt myself.
4. I was able to travel more. I went home to the Philippines on my own on October, traveled  to some parts of the UK (Greenwich, Brighton, Kent, Southampton, Stonehenge, Bath) and my first Euro tour in France on December. Traveling opens up my eyes to a lot of things this world has to offer. Amidst the negativity that we see in the news, this experience amazes me to the extent. I am able to see the true beauty of this world.
5. The opportunity to love and be loved romantically. I know this sounds cheesy, but Ryan is my first boyfriend. Sounds childish but before, I thought that being in a relationship is like a fairy tale. But now I realizes that it is not an altogether happy and loving times with the one you love. This entails patience, hardwork and understanding.
6. I was able to start investing (not on disposable things), but mainly for my future. I have started paying for the downpayment of the townhouse that I bought. (This is the decision that scares me the most but the bravest one as well. I just took the leap of faith and trusted my instict.) I have an affinity to the thought of having my own house, from buying the furnitures to decorating to moving in, home is one of my excitements in life, one of the things that I look forward to. Having a house of my own is one of my dreams. The goal I am dreaming to achieve by working in the UK. I have also invested in the stock market from a percentage in my salary. I have decided to continue paying for my SSS contribution as an OFW. The premium is a bit expensive for OFWs because there’s no employer who pays the half of the premium unlike when we were still working in the Philippines.  Little by little, I am able to save. This becomes possible by doing bank shifts or ‘OT’ (overtime) at work.

What didn’t go well?

1. I forgot my passion. For the past year, I dedicated the majority of my time working in the hospital that I set aside my hobbies and leisure activities. These were the activities I did to keep me sane when I had a very toxic work in the Philippines. These are blogging, going to the gym, attending self help workshops, serving in the community and church and reading self help books. Somewhere a long the way, I lost myself. I am not saying that nursing is not my passion. Being a nurse is my bread and butter and I love the work that I do. I think the correct term is, I thought I have lost my purpose. There were days where I don’t get excited to get up from the bed. I have lost the enthusiasm. The ‘me’ who loves to read self help books and Cosmo magazines before to get inspired. After reading, I am left nothing but with a burning desire in my heart.
2. Since coming in the UK, I have missed a lot of important life events, like Christmas, New Year, birthdays, weddings of my friends, reunions and get together. It made me sad not to be able to share these events with my loved ones. But given this situation, whenever I feel sad, I just remind myself the very reason why I am here. There are things that I cannot control like living away from my loved ones. To be honest, I have lost contact with some of my friends. What I can control is going home whenever it’s possible. Which is exactly what I plan to do. Whenever I have annual leave, I made sure to go home and spend it with the people I love.
3. My bf and I broke up before Christmas, though we’re still hurting, I am taking this break to reflect, to get to know myself even more and evaluating what I learned in this relationship to help me become a better person.

And lastly, what did I learn about myself?

1. I learned that I am capable of loving and being loved in return and that everyone deserves this magical thing. I remember the quote of the priest about love in the workshop I have attended before. “Don’t forget to love fully, freely, faithfully and fruitfully.”
2. Following my heart and trusting my guts and instinct because most of the time they are true. I have learned to trust life and let go of all my worries.
3. I am keen to listen from other people’s advice because I know I can learn from them. Listening is learning.
4. I have accepted myself that I am an introvert and not the life of a party. I am more of a listener than a speaker. This is uniquely me, I am enough.

Inspiration from this blog post came after watching Bianca Gonzalez’s vlog with guest, Arriane Serafico of ‘The Purposeful Creative’.

My theme for this year is #Purposeful2018. As me, living each day with a purpose.

All I’m Dreaming Of

I still can’t believe everything that is happening to me now. Whenever I see London road signages, I keep asking myself “Is this really happening? Am I really in London?” It’s been more than 6 months when I arrived here to work and up until now, I feel like I’m still on cloud 9. It seems like I’m still dreaming.

I love walking in the streets of Kingston Upon Thames especially during this Springtime because of the green surroundings. Nature is in full bloom. This is my first time to witness four seasons and realized that each season offers something new and different. They all teach me lessons about life. Kingston library is located on Fairfield road. This road is my haven, my favorite place in town because of the establishments that are within the area such as the Kingfisher Leisure Centre (gym, swimming pool, children’s playground), Fairfield Recreational Ground (where anyone can play football, jog, have a picnic, train and play with your dogs and pets. Within the next two days, a circus will be held in this area. Oh, how excited I am! This is an authentic circus show. The one I only watched on TV when I was young. I imagine for the show to have lions, acrobats, performers crossing a rope, unicycle, etc. There’s also the Kingston Museum, when I visited it before, I’ve learned the history and seen the images of Kingston before the civilization, the paintings of the establishments and the clothing at that time. And of course, the reason why I am in Fairfield Road, the Kingston Libary. I went there to study for my exam because if I did it in my room, I will be tempted to sleep. When I sat in the chair inside the library with all other students and young professionals quietly studying, I can’t help but smile and reflect at that moment. I just feel so grateful that I was given this opportunity to work and live in London. Everything that I imagined doing and learning are in here. They have a lot of things to offer. I found classes on creative writing, digital photography, flower arrangement, European language, cooking, baking, gardening etc. They have this library where I can study, borrow books that range from English novels, fiction and nonfiction, biography, health, arts, cooking, history, IT, gardening. As I was tempted to check these books, I stopped and reminded myself what I was there for, which is to study for my exam. Then I smiled because I am grateful for all these. These are what makes me happy and interested in life. (Plus I have a loving boyfriend back home). That I want to learn more. I want to grow. I want to acquire skills. I want to improve because I believe that there’s a lot more I can offer. 

On the way to Kingston Library

My wide imagination was working. I could imagine anything while smiling. But I ditched that thinking because for now, my focus is on my examination and in passing it. Working and living abroad is definitely not easy, there are challenges but with all these, I am grateful.

“Dear Zindagi” Movie Message

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I just finished watching the Indian film, “Dear Zindagi” (Dear Life). And again, i was captivated by the profound message. This is another favorite of mine aside from The 3 Idiots. The movie is about the story of a young cinematographer Kaira and her realization of letting go of the past hurts to finding real happiness. At the beginning of the story, Kaira is seen as a difficult person to deal with and a happy-go-lucky lady who’s having a hard time committing to men. As such, it is evident that deep inside her was a broken woman who’s in denial that there is something wrong with her emotions until she met the Psychologist, “Brain doctor”, Jug. 

In the sessions with Jug, Kaira realized she had to be honest with herself regarding the hurt that she had kept eversince she was young. The turning point is this message of Jug to Kaira, “Do not let the past blackmail your present to ruin a beautiful future.” And for the first time in her life, she felt free. She let go of the baggage and mend the relationship with her parents. 

Another point given in the story is not to care about other people’s opinion about us because sometimes, that’s one of our biggest fears and source of insecurities.

Alia Bhatt has played the role of Kaira very effectively, stubborn at the beginning and finally carefree in the end. She was beautiful in every scene and I love all the clothes she wore, very casual and at the same time sexy (but not daring). This is one of the movies that will make you ponder that life is not complicated, we just complicate things. If you’re feeling lost, in a quarter-life crisis, feeling stuck, you will surely learn lessons in this movie that you can apply in the everyday uncertainties of life.

Rejection is Redirection

http://www.google.com.ph

What is your biggest rejection so far and what did you learn from it? Here’s my story.

In 2014, when I was still an employee in a BPO (business process outsourcing) company, I was going through the quarter life crisis. At that time, I was no longer feeling fulfilled in my job and longed for a change. I wanted a job that I can settle for, and perhaps stay until I retire. The reason why I was actively looking online for job openings.  I ended up applying in a multinational bank for a sales post since I have a sales experience in a bancassurance industry back in 2010. It was a prestigious bank. I thought it will be great to be part of that institution and not really because I like the job. Yeah, doing things for all the wrong reasons. One of the mistakes that we make at one point in our lives. Sales post is a tough job, I had been there, I had done that, I know how mentally demanding the job is, but I still went for it. And so, I already had two interviews from the HR and from the head of one department, but I was told that a different department head will conduct another interview. I will describe the manager who conducted the interview. He’s a man, maybe around 40 years of age, looked intimidating, looked accomplished in his career, well spoken both in English and Filipino, wears a barong and black slacks, very professional looking.

It was the usual interview, “Tell me something about yourself, what was your previous sales experience, where do you see yourself 5 years from now, and the like.” At first, it went well. The turning point in the interview is when I was asked, “What is your passion?” I was taken aback, this is one of the hardest questions to answer because it’s telling about your vulnerability, that the other end might now understand what you really want to do in life. It’s very personal and it’s hard not to tell the truth. I stutter, because I know that the words and my answer to the question do not align in the job that I was applying for. I think he saw it in my eyes that it wasn’t really my passion to do sales. He saw and felt in my appearance, the way I speak and through my body language that I wasn’t fit for the job. I looked naïve, I was 24, and still figuring out how to live. All of us had been in that stage. And then I was told the most heartbreaking words and feedback in my life. The manager said, “You know what, I’m not gonna hire you, with your personality, you are not for sales. I see you as a goldfish, and the others in the production area are sharks, they’ll gonna eat you.” Deep inside, I was hurt, and I just sit silently listening to his remarks, nodding. I got his point, sales really isn’t something I am passionate to do, only applying for the prestige of the job and the company. At that moment, I wish I could vanish, I wish for the soil to just eat me, my morale was at my lowest and if there is anyone who will ask me, “Are you okay?”, I will definitely burst into tears. I was so sad that I had failed and that I was rejected right in front of my face.

But little did I know that rejection is a saving grace. I was being redirected by life into something else. A few months after arriving from a few days trip to Australia, I had an idea to go back to my real profession as a nurse in the college where I graduated and the hospital that I had my training 2 years before. And right there and then, I was accepted. I believe, if it’s meant to be, it will happen, sometimes, effortlessly. Then I realized, now I understand why I was not accepted in the sales post because it was not for me. I do not want to go through the stress and the demand of the job, the sales quota each month, the burden of generating sales for the company. I realized that my almost 2 years experience each in the bancassurance and BPO industry is part of my journey to where I am now. I am now turning 2 years as a nurse, and I must say, because of this, my life is now following a direction, no idea of the destination but it’s one thing leading to another.

I had experienced few more rejections after this, at work, in relationships, in applying for jobs but I always remember the lessons I learned from this experience. I was rejected because I am being redirected for something or someone else. Here is my message to everyone who would be able to read this post and is going through the same situation. Do not be discouraged. Do not give up. You have to actively look for your passion. Listen to your heart because most of the time it is true. If you’re not yet happy or satisfied with what you’re doing, just keep looking. You may not see the destination or the end point now, but step by step, it will be revealed to you. Trust in His will. Everything happens for a reason.